Queer Theory Glossary

In case you’ve had trouble keeping up with the spate of new queer theory terms, here’s a handy glossary for your reference.

Queer – A straight person with an interesting haircut.

Non-binary/genderqueer – A chubby young female, typically 16-28, who has dyed her hair blue. Is probably what was once called a lesbian, but she doesn’t like that word.

Lesbian – A man in his 40’s who works in IT and started wearing his wife’s panties last year.

Transgender – A person whose aversion to society’s made-up gender stereotypes should be taken way more seriously than everyone else’s aversion to society’s made-up gender stereotypes.

Pansexual – Someone who likes men who dress in masculine clothes and men who dress in feminine clothes.

TERF – A mature woman who goes about her business without thinking about men enough. The party that should be held responsible when a redneck man beats up a male prostitute.

Cis – Someone who daydreams wistfully about putting on appropriate clothing and showing their genitals to the doctor.

Sexual orientation – Bigotry in the form of having opinions about whose genitals you like to touch.

Intersectionality – Remembering to include a variety of different types of men in your feminism.

Transmisogyny – When straight white men can’t get other people to say the things they want them to say, and it feels worse than any form of oppression anyone else on the planet has ever experienced.

Ze/Hir – Pronouns you can request to disrupt college classes when you haven’t done the assigned work.

Gay – A passé identity that isn’t cool enough anymore and needs rebranding.

Asexual – A person who feels left out.

Intersex – Probably all of us. I mean, you’ve never had a chromosome test, have you. HAVE YOU?

7 Replies to “Queer Theory Glossary”

  1. Hmm, the Transgender one seems off. More like someone who’s so averse to the horrible, unfair, regressive, and unnecessary stereotypes of their own sex that they choose to adopt the horrible, unfair, regressive, and unnecessary stereotypes of the opposite sex because that’ll fix things… somehow.

    1. Thank you for your interest! I’m polishing it up and querying right now! Wrapping up that pesky master’s degree and some nonsense at work is interfering a bit.

  2. That was funny! One of my favorite things to do these days that is completely free and doesn’t require any effort is making woke acquaintances uncomfortable by using words in a meaningful way.

    I’m from Finland and it’s both annoying and hilarious how queer ideology is changing language over here. We don’t have gendered pronouns so people announce their English language pronouns on their profiles, even when 100% of the time they’re communicating with other Finns. Many people are wary of using ordinary Finnish words for things like man or male (mies) or woman or female (nais-, nainen), so they use these new words, miesoletettu and naisoletettu.

    Miesoletettu: “supposed male” or “male-supposed”

    Naisoletettu: “supposed female” or “female-supposed”

    Like, they’ve stopped using the regular lexical words and even correct other people who still use them, demanding that everyone switch to these clunky neologisms.

    Nonbinary people are referred to as muunsukupuolinen. Muu means “other” and sukupuoli means “sex” or “gender.”

    Muunsukupuolinen: “other gender” or “other-gendered”

    One of the funniest things was when the national organization for transgender people suddenly and completely unironically changed its name to Sukupuolen moninaisuuden osaamiskeskus, which literally means “Center of Excellence in Gender Diversity”. Yeah… right, because babbling about things like switching “gender” according to your mood or what you happen to be wearing is such sophisticated rocket science.

  3. Read your blog. It was very prescient of the current Trans Activistm.

    I’m keeping my fingers crossed that you get the book published. You know anything written that goes against Gender Ideology might have a difficult time getting published. If you do find a publisher, the Gender Fascists are going to try to interfere.

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